A Mother’s Advice on Manhood I

Hello, it has been long and glad to come your way again by this post. Hope we all had a good weekend?

This month, I want to look at the subject on manhood from a biblical point of view. One of the many things discussed in our world is, on how to be a man. Sometimes, the definition and treatise on manhood can come from a place of relativism. When your information is based solely on culture, society, or historical content, that information ceases to be absolute.

We also often look at who should talk on this subject? Is it the accomplished athlete, the bodybuilder, the successful corporate guy, the dutiful husband or the doting father?

Personally, I think the Bible has a very balanced view on this all important subject, so that will be our source for this month. I want us to look at a mother’s counsel to her son which will serve as our template.

In our scripture passage in Proverbs 31:1-9, you will see four things highlighted there and we will deal with one aspect weekly. The woman in question is Bathsheeba, mother of King Solomon, who was also known as Lemuel being advised on how to be a king. She didn’t focus too much on leadership or management principles, but rather talked on the core of a person’s being.

I learnt something important right there that leadership flows from the core of your being, so if you don’t focus on building that core of a person to be better day in and out, no matter your acquired leadership principles, you will still be a bad leader. With that said, let us look at the first part of her advice.

“The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him: What, my son? And what, son of my womb? And what, son of my vows? Do not give your strength to women, Nor your ways to that which destroys kings.” Proverbs‬ ‭31:1-3‬ ‭

So the first advice is on womanizing. Womanizing is engaging in numerous casual, sexual affairs with women, which at times leads to multiple affairs.

Throughout historical and contemporary times, womanizing is a polarizing subject. Some, for it, others against it. People look at it based on which grounds they are coming from. Looking at this from my Christian background, it does more harm than good.

You can’t build a solid family unit if a man is engaged in too many relations with others. The family is structured in such a way that it demands two spouses in a unit to raise children who will in turn affect the fiber of society, and goes a long way to shape the country. The society is as strong as the family.

Secondly, it has been proven historically that kingdoms and empires ended when kings married so many wives. Marriage is not only the union of two people; it is also the union of destinies, behaviors, influences, histories, world-views, families, generational mindsets and tendencies… and the like. What happens is, with each spouse comes a certain experience and counsel which might not always turn out good for the kingdom a king governs.

Look at a typical example with King Solomon who was the recipient of this advice.

“But King Solomon loved many foreign women, as well as the daughter of Pharaoh: women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians, and Hittites— from the nations of whom the Lord had said to the children of Israel, “You shall not intermarry with them, nor they with you. Surely they will turn away your hearts after their gods.” Solomon clung to these in love.” I Kings‬ ‭11:1-2‬ ‭

Lemuel also known as Solomon here didn’t heed to his mother’s counsel. This affected Solomon’s reign as a king; he introduced different value systems and religious beliefs as a result of multiple marriages and affairs, which changed the entire structure of his kingdom. If you read the story further, his kingdom didn’t last.

A man exposed to multiple affairs also gives his strength away by exposing himself to diseases out there. STDs and multiple affairs coexist! They are partners. Strength is always not physical, could also mean financial strength. It is expensive and in my opinion, a waste of money to be in multiple affairs which doesn’t give you the height of satisfaction, yet renders you broke. If multiple affairs do bring satisfaction, why not stop at the next partner and keep chasing? It is an endless trail of passion that can never be quenched.

The quality of a society is based on the wholeness of a family unit, and the family is as strong as the man.

For the sake of family and the society, men have to come to a place of total wholeness experiencing REAL manhood.

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Till, I come your way again…

Peace & Love