Uncategorized

From the archives: fear II

We are continuing our series on fear. Wrote this a couple of years ago and it is worth re-reading, if you have already. The purpose is to deal with the root issue of fear at bay currently because of the global pandemic which has befallen us.

Be very encouraged in the days ahead, that it is going to get better and there is light ahead of this current, dark tunnel which looks uncertain. Whatever be the case, just decide not to live in fear.

https://abedi.blog/2018/05/07/is-this-how-you-want-to-live/

Uncategorized

Relationship protocol

Relationships are a blessing and you can enjoy the benefit(s) if it is properly defined. For example, is the person I am relating to a senior, a colleague or a junior? Levels of relationship have different protocols”- Stephen Ofori-Abedi’s Facebook post on 11/13/2019

Last week, we looked at strategic relationships, and today we want to focus on relationship protocol.

Merriam Webster’s Dictionary has four definitions and the third line of definition reads, “a code prescribing strict adherence to correct etiquette and precedence.” Words associated with protocol are formality, manners…

It is important to talk about this because too many people miss out on the blessing of relationships because of poor relational ethics. Like I alluded last week, everyone needs a mentor, colleague and a protégé, but how do you relate to these different kinds of relationships? I want to share a few of my thoughts and observations on this.

1. How do you relate with a mentor?

Mentors are like coaches in a sense, so you don’t relate to them like you are having a talk with your home buddy. Mentors are discerning and very wise; they can easily tell who is not worth their cup of tea by looking at certain signs. Go there as a student with questions to inquire and to know. That is the basis of the relationship in the first place. You don’t go to your mentor too, to display your wealth of knowledge and boast about your achievements. They truly are not interested. Be humble and be like a sponge soaking in all the experiences you see around when in the presence of one. One of the bad signs is for your mentor to ask, “any questions?!”, then you reply, “No!”. I am not saying you should ALWAYS ask questions, but an attitude of learning, flexibility and implementing your sessions with your mentor are great key strengths in enhancing the relationship. Most mentors will gravitate towards you and have a personal relationship, others will want to keep it strictly official. Which ever way, the purpose for the relationship in the first place is what should hold premium.

2. How do I relate with a contemporary?

You relate on equal standing. There should be parity in this kind of relationship. When one sees himself as superior than the other, it mars the relationship. This relationship thrives on networking and collaborating. When each of you know something that is beneficial, share it with each other. Be genuinely happy at the success of your partner, even if yours hasn’t happened yet. This kind of relationship easily becomes personal when both parties treat each other with respect. They end up getting to know their families and might even plan vacation get away with their families together.

3. How do I relate with a protégé?

“…but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” I Timothy‬ ‭4:12‬ ‭

This is a very powerful advice to every leader in any kind of setting. To get the best out of this kind of relationship is all about modeling. The best form of tutelage is in deed more than words. Unfortunately, many protégés have been disappointed, because they just hear a bunch of talk and little or no action. It is also important that mentors should relate with their protégés as the relationship defines; don’t relate to your protégé like you relate with a contemporary. Most times, it breeds familiarity and once the respect factor is lost in that relationship, it is over. I think of Jesus Christ who was a great mentor to his disciples and later became their friends, but you should know it took years before it gravitated towards that. Don’t be in a hurry to be friends. Let the relationship take its course and determine its pace. Most mentors have felt betrayed because they shared some personal, intimate secrets of their lives which later becomes a weapon against them, when the relationship is fractured. That ought not to be so! As a mentor, you will be honored, but please make sure, you don’t take advantage of that and abuse your liberty. Protégés are highly sensitive to that when they feel you just want to take them on a ride. They respect you, but they are not stupid. Reciprocate by also showing them honor. It will minister to them a great deal and keep the relationship binding.

I end on this note that let us observe the proper formalities in each of the relationships we are involved for our benefit. Relationships are a blessing when we relate right.

I thank you for making time to read today’s post. It will be nice if you can also share your perspective on this as well. I will love to read your comments.

Please like, share and subscribe to this blog.

Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love

Uncategorized

Strategic relationships

Hello, trust you have had a good weekend’s rest? Last week was a holiday on my side of town, so I just took advantage of it to rest hence not posting.

Today, I want us to focus on strategic relationships. What do I mean when I talk about that? I am not looking at the popular business definition, rather more at a relationship that gives you a vantage point to ascend up. These relationships in a bigger picture should be more than just socializing, having fun and having a good time. All of us should have certain friends for that.

This has more to do with purpose. In my own words, I see strategy as planning to get a leg up. Why do you plan if you don’t want to rise above the norm? When I think of strategy, the military comes into mind. The war is won in the boardroom first, then the troops on ground just enforce that. That is a strategy or a stratagem for that matter.

Everybody needs certain kind of relationships in this life, and this is different from your friends who you pass time with or engage in sports debates and the like.

1. Everybody needs a mentor– a mentor is a trusted teacher or coach. It is said, “the safest way to walk through a game park inhabited by wild animals is to follow the warden”. Mentors in a sense embody that. They are the portraits of your future and mostly have your ear. Please, with caution, choose your mentors wisely. If you want to be a faithful married husband, you can’t have a womanizer as your trusted advisor. Nobody knows it all! You set yourself up for failure if you think you have all the answers. In life too, it is good to be accountable to someone, so that you don’t go haywire. Mentors ensure that you stay on the straight and narrow.

2. Everybody needs a contemporary- look for people who are on the same path and on the same step ladder. You need people like that to trade ideas with and encourage each other. Unfortunately, most relationships of this nature breeds envy and unnecessary competition. To have a contemporary, both have to be secure and okay with being themselves. Contentment is key to making it work. If you are looking to be the smarter out of the two, more successful out of the two and are not thinking of corporate success; this relationship should be skipped. However, not every thing can be shared with a mentor, it is necessary to have a friend who has your view points and probably traveling on the same road as yours.

3. Everybody needs a protégé- personally, I can’t think of any greater satisfaction than to reach out and inspire someone younger and inexperienced who intends traveling the path I have been. One way or another, you can be a coach and an encourager to someone. It puts life in perspective. We shouldn’t focus on living for ourselves that we neglect others. People need guidance; some are open to admit that, the rest might think they are good which might be obvious they aren’t. Everybody has a story, a life experience that someone can benefit of and from. Think of yourself that you have something to offer after reading this. Too many people don’t think so.

I think there is no perfect time than NOW to invest into relationships. The dividends will show. Thank you for reading and supporting this blog with your feedbacks. I really do appreciate that.

Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love

Uncategorized

Perfect Love!

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John‬ ‭3:16‬ ‭‬‬

I believe the theme of this week is love. How fitting will it be to talk about it, looking at the total embodiment of love- God.

This scripture talks about how much He loved the world. This was written in a Greek text. To the Greek, love doesn’t carry the same meaning. There are at least four different meanings to the word, love: romantic love, friendship or brotherly love, familial love and Godly love. The first three are conditional and will need reasons to love. The last kind of love which is Godly is unconditional, have no reasons and no strings attached.

God just loves us without any reason. He loves us because it is in his nature to love. He loves us because He is love. A typical example shows in how he loved the world and sent his only begotten son, Jesus to give us everlasting life. You may be asking, “what is that?” Everlasting life means you will experience life after this age is over. I believe in life after death. The world couldn’t do anything to warrant God’s kind of love, but just to accept and receive it. Likewise, for you to be a recipient of God’s love, you have to be accepting and receiving of it.

Today, I present to you God’s kind of love which is perfect and sufficient for us all. I write from a place of experiential knowledge- God’s love is too real! In this week of love, think on this and know that God loves you. Could keep on writing, but I feel this will be good for today. This post is to cause us to muse on true love which can only come from God.

If I can get you to think on this after reading, I believe my job is done. Happy Valentine’s Day to all my readers.

Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love

Uncategorized

What is my life?

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” James‬ ‭4:13-14‬

Hello, glad to come your way again. Last week, I couldn’t post because the world was sent into shockwaves and still grieving at the sudden and tragic passing of Kobe Bryant and his 13 year old daughter, Gianna along with seven others in a helicopter crash. I am a basketball fan, so this really hit home.

This death has really got me thinking on all fronts. This was really a sad one. In lieu of that, I want to share some few thoughts on life. The Bible verse there explained what my life is- it is like a smoke [or mist] which appears for a while, then vanishes away. Life is really that transient. The next sixty seconds of our life are not promised, talk about even the next day. Personally, this has taught me to live in the moment and maximize today. By the time, my life on this earth is up, I want to have fewer regrets and if possible, none. Want to look at some things to do whilst we are still living.

1. Don’t hold grudges- at the beginning of this year, a name came up in my conversation with my mother and sister. This particular person was very close to me, but not anymore due to a rift that occurred more than a decade ago. Time has passed, wounds are healed and we have met on few occasions; our interactions have been brief and civil, nonetheless. But they both advised me to go a step further in calling the person just to check on him every now and then. I have reached out, life is indeed a sandglass. Make up with any you have aught with. I watched a sportscaster in tears at the devastating news begging for reconciliation on every viewer’s part if it is possible to abridge any difference(s), because life is short. That was powerful watching that.

2. Do what you truly love- life waits for no one. We have to follow our passion and do what we really love. What are we waiting for? Write that book you have put on hold, follow that hobby that tends to give you more fulfillment than your current 9-5 job. I thank God that every Sunday after church, I have a sense of fulfillment and pride in what I do- pastoring. I feel this is what I have been put on earth for. Nothing beats that feeling. Even though, I am bi-vocational and have a paid profession, I still feel I am doing my life’s worth in pastoring- never been paid before. It is not about money, but fulfilling a purpose you truly love. Dr. Myles Munroe of blessed memory said, “if you can do it [work] without getting paid and money is not an issue, then that is your true assignment”. I am glad I am walking in mine.

3. Think of others- life is not me, myself and I. Your sojourn on this earth should touch humanity. Be a blessing to someone. Take someone under your wing to teach, coach and inspire. Everyone on this earth has something to offer. After you are gone, someone should be thankful for your existence. That is how you build a legacy. Tributes are still pouring in for Kobe, because he was a big advocate of women’s basketball, coached young girls to play the game and was writing children’s books among the many notable feats. Most basketball players were crying because they had personal accounts of him reaching out to them to encourage, inspire or mentor them, especially the younger crop of players. So he wasn’t just a basketball player, he was more than that.

4. Believe in God- after all is said and done, there is a God, the creator of Heaven and earth, the maker of our soul. After this life is over, we will meet God. It is an appointment EVERYONE on this earth will certainly meet. It doesn’t matter whether you believe it or not. There is a hereafter. Life will move on and it truly isn’t over when one dies. Your time left on this earth will be a good time to know who God is and if he truly exist?

“The fool says in his heart, “There’s no God…” Psalms‬ ‭14:1‬ ‭

Let us live this life intentionally and on purpose. We have only one life. It isn’t like the video game which gives you ten lives to go on a hunting mission. You will know what I am talking about if you have played one of such games. May posterity judge us well when our chapter on this earth is done.

Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love