“Now when Ahithophel saw that his advice was not followed, he saddled a donkey, and arose and went home to his house, to his city. Then he put his household in order, and hanged himself, and died; and he was buried in his father’s tomb.” II Samuel 17:23
I hope the weekend was a good one? Read this scripture over this past weekend which got me thinking. I saw how one man’s (poor) response to rejection led him to commit suicide.
Based on this, let us look at this subject closely. Rejection is part of life. We will all or have been dealt with the hand of rejection. Knowing how to respond well is crucial. The action taken by Ahithophel mirrors many’s response.
Before that, who was Ahithopel? He was a counselor to the king at the time, who was David and had defected. He had a reputation of being a wise counselor. He was the real deal! Look at the description in the passage below
“The counsel that Ahithophel gave in those days was treated as if God himself had spoken. That was the reputation of Ahithophel’s counsel to David…” 2 Samuel 16:23
If your counsel is like God himself has spoken, you must be something else! They couldn’t even compare him to any human, but a divine being. This was the reputation that preceded him. He gave counsel to the king’s son in Absalom who had committed treason against his father, David. Ahithophel had become a conspirator to Absalom’s evil plot in staging a coup against his father, David. When his counsel wasn’t taken, Ahithopel ended his life.
Ahithopel’s ending speaks to me a lot which I will like to share on dealing with rejection.
1. Don’t believe your hype– don’t drink the cool-aid of your own advertisement, it’s a poisonous drink. Be grounded in who you are and be confident in your skills and talents you bring to the table, but don’t overestimate your importance.
“…I tell everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he should think. Instead, think sensibly…” Romans 12:3
If you don’t think modestly, all sorts of emotion will be triggered in you when you face rejection. Some don’t take kindly when their suggestion is not taken in favor of a better suggestion at the board meeting. They will have an attitude and will let you know they are not happy about it. They can’t celebrate others and look at things in a big picture: the company wins. It always has to be about them. Friend, we can’t continue living like that. When we are this way, it shows how small of a person we truly are. People who have airs and graces about themselves have no sense of humor. They will lash out at their spouse for cracking a joke about them.
2. Don’t let it be personal- most times, rejection has nothing to do with your person. It might be your business proposal, but not you. It might be your advice, but not you. It might be your fashion sense, but not you. It might even be a marriage proposal, but not you. Very few instances of rejection has to do with attacking your very person. I believe people like that are toxic and evil. Truthfully, I will not associate with anyone that rejects my very person. So please, know the difference between the two. If it is not against your person, then see it as an opportunity to work on yourself, or give some room in time. There are certain counsels that are time sensitive meaning, it will be applicable next month or two, but not this month. Don’t jump hastily into conclusions and start accusing people for their dislike of you.
3. Don’t let it define you– let us be honest; being rejected can be very humbling or humiliating. It is a very painful one when experienced. Don’t let that episode define you. There is no success without failure. At times, no acceptance without rejection first. Ahithophel killed himself because he let that episode of his advice not taken defined him. He probably felt like a fool, or thought he was not the real deal anymore! Killing yourself should NEVER be an option.
Finally, I want to end on this note by quoting an except of one of my favorite songs in Above All by Michael Smith.
Laid behind a stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Jesus can relate to rejection. He suffered the highest form of rejection which had to do with against his very person. He understands rejection better than any of us. If you have any feelings of rejection or still reeling from the effects of rejections, THIS IS YOUR BEST BET: come to Jesus, He will not forsake you.
Thank you all for reading. I hope my weekend thoughts in writing was a blessing to you?
Happy new month y’all!
Please like and share today’s post. It will mean a lot to me. Like always, I look forward to reading your comments too. Please do comment and let me know your thoughts. Thank you
Till I come your way again…
Peace & Love