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20/20 in 2020

In Optometry, the phrase, 20/20 is used to measure visual acuity. That is, you stand at 20 feet and read a small line of letters. When you pass the test, you have a 20/20 vision, which in other words, means normal vision.

The funny thing is, most of us think we have perfect vision till the results come out. I remembered when prescribed glasses after the test. I protested for long, but alas, I type wearing them presently. I don’t have a 20/20 vision without the aid of glasses.

“…Buy also some ointment to put on your eyes, so that you may see.” Revelation‬ ‭3:18‬ ‭

The above quote is a message from God to a church that focused on the wrong things because of their perspective. God gave them a remedy to have a clearer perspective. The phrase, “buy also some ointment to put on your eyes…” was a figurative expression to that church to come back to Him. It was in having a relationship with God, that will cause them to have a clearer perspective of things.

As we have entered this year, it is important to have a clearer vision and perspective on things, else this year will just be another year which will go down the drain. Be determined to make the most out of this year and the new decade we have just entered. I am inspired to write on a few things which are worthy of a clearer perspective. Indulge me your attention as we go through.

1. A clearer perspective on your identity- take time to invest in who you are as a person. So many people have not truly discovered who they are yet, because they have been busy living other people’s lives, living other people’s expectations and projections. Some have easily become like a great impressionist. I heard a story in passing about a comedian who is a master impressionist. This art started early in his childhood years, and in his words, he could impersonate everybody, till his mother will scream out in exhaustion, “where is my real son? I will like to see him today please.” In that same vein, I scream, “who are YOU?!, do you know YOU yet?!, when is YOU going to come out yet?!” Somebody may ask, how do I know ME? Do you believe you were created by God? If so, then go to God in prayer and he will show you the true YOU. The manufacturer knows better than the manufactured. I have this belief that I am an art of divine creation. I don’t know your beliefs, and that is fine. To any practicing Christian reading this, if there has ever been a time to stay close to God in prayer, that time is NOW.

2. A clearer perspective of your purpose- what you are called to do is tied to who you are. Today is a good time to critically think about what you are TRULY called to do, not what your parents, teachers and friends THINK what you should do. Thank God for parents, teachers and friends, but sometimes they can be sincerely wrong. Your purpose is also tied to your passion. What gets you going? What keeps you excited? What gives you a mad rush of energy? For some, you may have to take radical, bold decisions after this exercise. For some too, it might be just a little adjustment. Which ever phase you will find yourself in, it is worth it having a clearer view of your purpose.

3. A clearer perspective for opportunities- may we maximize our defining moments this year when it comes by. For some, our decade can change if only we prospect the RIGHT opportunity at the right time. There is such a thing as the right opportunity at a wrong time. Planting is an opportunity, but you have to be mindful of the season you sow, else your harvest will be affected. We can seize the moments when it comes by when we use our instinct rather than our intellect at times. Almost all opportunities don’t come easily identifiable. May we not miss our opportunities this year. May I recommend one of the best books I have read which will help in this area. It is called Instinct: The Power to Unleash Your Inborn Drive.

4. A clearer perspective on relationships- a quote by Charlie Tremendous Jones goes like this, “You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” The growth you will experience in half of this decade is determined by one of the two factors in relationships. Be discerning with your company this year. You can be friendly with everybody, but not everyone can be your friend. Relationships go beyond socializing. They also shape our destinies, and are also responsible for our ‘make up‘ or ‘break up’.

Thank you for lending me your heart and your time. Very honored you read my post today. I want to wish you all a happy new year. God bless us all.

Please comment, like, share and subscribe to this blog. It will mean a lot to me.

Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love

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Why wait till next year?

Hello, i trust you had a good Christmas? By now we all know that the dawn of a new year is fast approaching.

Want to talk about something I have observed over a period of time. Most people have the habit of closing down on a year around November/December. They postpone everything into the following year, and that cycle of promising to do something becomes never ending.

If you have any goals to acheive, a vision to fulfill; my question is why wait till next year? Why don’t you start digging around your assignment now, so that next year will meet you in a state of preparedness. If you have to lose weight, why do you want to wait till January 1st? Start now. Don’t postpone what you can do today into next year.

I realize people who do that will always have a boatload of excuses, and then come November or December, they will postpone their destinies again into the upcoming year.

Let us break the cycle this year. Yes, it’s true we have just some few more days into the new year (depending on which part of the world you are in). Get busy, engage your mind, yet still enjoy the rest of the festivities left and have fun.

I want to wish you all a happy new year. God bless us all with long life & good health. May your desires come to fruition.

Please like, share and subscribe to this blog. I thank you all for your support you have thrown behind me this year.

Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love

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The 3 Cs of Christmas III

We have talked about the two Cs which are the condemned and the conformed. Today we want to look at the third C which is the contented.

The first two have a lot to do with the emotional reaction of people- how they feel. Contentment is more a state of being than feeling. You have to be content than feel content.

“And Naaman said, Be content, take two talents. And he urged him, and bound two talents of silver in two bags, with two changes of garments, and laid them upon two of his servants; and they bare them before him.” 2 Kings‬ ‭5:23‬

This Bible story goes into the dialogue between Naaman and a man by the name of Gehazi. He approached Naaman with a request, and before Naaman could respond to his request, the first two words to Gehazi was, “be content…”. If you read into the story, you realize Gehazi was greedy and a liar. Anyway, my point to this bible reference was contentment is more a state of being than a feeling.

To be is a matter of choice- it is a decision. The contented don’t have everything; all their ducks are not in a row, they don’t have everything perfect. They may have not achieved some goals; they have had some hits and misses, yet they choose and decide to be content. Very rarely, do you come across such people this season. They have a calmness about them and are able to get into the spirit of Christmas and loose themselves among friends, family and loved ones.

Since they (contented) are a rarity, why don’t we make a decision this time to be among the contented who are counted? A personal example, my wife and I are contented this year, not because we hit ALL of our goals for this year. We hit some, failed at some and missed some, but overall it has been a great year and we are not complaining. Why? Because we choose to be contented.

How do we experience contentment? When we are thankful and have a heart of gratitude, it is easier to have an attitude of contentment. To be grateful, you just have to remember to count your blessings and name them one by one. This December, I embarked on this exercise (still doing it). I have been shocked- so much goes on without taking notice to stop and say thank you. I am grateful to God for many, many things and thankful that I have life. Why don’t you try this exercise after reading? It will cure us of dissatisfaction, a feeling of underachievement and our attitude of grumbling and complaining.

May this season count and don’t let this go down the drain. Remember, where you are now is a matter of perspective.

I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas filled with fun, excitement and gratitude. I hope this will give you a renewed sense of hope for the new year and the next decade ahead. Let me also say thank you for the amazing feedback I have have received over the past two weeks on this subject. Have you ever thought of something and said, “this is a foolish idea“? Well, when this thought came to me to write, I said it was a foolish idea, but decided to “write and see”. Thanks again for the vote of confidence.

Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love

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The 3 Cs of the Christmas Season II

Last week, we were on this journey talking about the different emotional reactions of people in general as Christmas approaches. It could be a lot, but I have narrowed it down to three.

Today, let us look at the second C which is the conformed. It simply means to comply, which sometimes can be good, but I am looking at it from a different context. What is it about the conformed?

They are people who have felt depressed and seem to be in never ending battles- one after the other. At a point, they just let down their guards and become the poster child of defeat. Such people have no spirit in them, but toe the line and go with the flow. Wherever the currents take them, they assume that is their lot. They have a “que sera sera” attitude. They don’t look forward to this season; laughter can invoke sadness, joy brings their pain out. And, they also don’t believe in a new year, because it is the “same ol’, same ol‘ ”

One of the common features is they zone out in the midst of people. They are absent minded and talk to themselves at any given moment. People like that tend to have a very short fuse and can blow up over nothing.

How do we deal with the conformed this Christmas season? Please understand, their outbursts and temper tantrums might not be your fault. It is just a sign of internal defeat, hence the lashing out. People like that need a lot of understanding– empathy helps them; love– they need to feel special and know no matter life’s challenges, they truly matter, and bags of patience to handle their emotional rawness and pain

One of the themes of Christmas is love. Let us show love to one another. Some are difficult to love, but we can, in the spirit of Christ.

God bless all of you as you make plans to celebrate with your family and loved ones. I hope today’s post taught you something? Please I will like to read your comments and don’t forget to like, share and subscribe to this blog.

Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love

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The 3 Cs of the Christmas Season I

All too soon, we will be celebrating Christmas soon! I can see the excitement in some faces as they trim their Christmas trees with decor. Some houses are already in the festive mood and it shows in their decorations. They create a nice view when driving around.

Glad to come your way with another post and today, we want to look at the emotional reactions the Yuletide Season can sometimes evoke out of people. It is quite unfortunate that not all share in the enthusiasm and excitement of this season.

The first C is Condemned.

Believe it or not, some feel condemned because as Christmas approaches, it suddenly dawns on them that less than ten days, the year will be over. It forces them to look at all the enthusiastic resolutions they made at the beginning of the year, believing they were going to be ticked. They realize that their unticked goals are a far reality away from home. This can be a wet blanket on the festivities; they are in no mood to celebrate or gather with friends and family. This can cause acute depression if not taken care.

People who feel condemned isolate themselves from every social gathering this season and will refuse to answer calls. Sometimes, they are also reminded of some past severed relationships and broken homes (maybe, was in a previous marriage). The height of loneliness reaches its peak during that season. They end up moping and blaming themselves for the disintegration of some relationships. Anybody who plays pity party is normally a victim of condemnation. The funny thing is, that feeling of condemnation only happens during Christmas! Every other day, they are their preppy self.

My advice is don’t let your achievement of goals weigh you down. It is probably better to leave it for now, and focus on the most important thing during this season: relationships. After the festivities, look at your goals and apply critical thinking on what next to do. Secondly, if you have an opportunity to reconcile certain relationships. Why not? Do it, than living a belly full of regret every Christmas.

Take care of your emotional health and have a good week.

Please comment, share and subscribe to this blog.

Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love

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Ministering to the grieved

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians‬ ‭6:2‬ ‭

Hello, it is good to come your way again. Hope you had a restful weekend? Today, we want to wrap up our series of posts on grief and focus on us ministering to the aggrieved.

When I talk of the word, ministering? What do I actually mean? The word that jumps off the bat to me is serving. As a society, how can one be of service to one another, especially the unfortunate, the disadvantaged, the disenfranchised, and the list goes on? One of the many benefits of a community is being there for one another.

The good book, the Bible, adds its voice that bearing one another’s burden means you have fulfilled the law of Christ.

“A problem shared is a problem halved. A joy shared is a joy doubled”- Katie M. John

This proverbial saying expreses the idea that, when in difficulty or in a happy instance, it is useful to talk to someone. All of us can help in our own small way when it comes to serving a grieved person. Some express that desire, but don’t know how to go about it. I hope this sparks a flame in your thoughts as you read.

1. Show up physically if possible- if you happen to be in close proximity, make time and visit the person. Your physical presence is a message already conveyed when the grieved person sees you. You don’t have to say anything per se. Just sitting with the person and empathizing alleviates the pain of loss a bit.

2. Write handwritten notes or send texts- if you can’t be physically present, write a handwritten note or you could send a text. I think a handwritten note is more personal than a text. When someone is in grief, no amount of talking will make sense to the person at that moment. But with a note, when the pain subsides and they are able to get their head around, they will read the note and make sense of what you would have possibly said at the time of mourning.

3. Be sensitive- when someone is in grief, mind your language, body posture and if I may say, your appearance. All these speak loudly than you can imagine. I remember once I went to see a lady who had lost her husband, and a group of guys were there shamelessly and seriously arguing about their favorite soccer team and player. That was an anti climax, considering the event at hand- a wife was inconsolable trying to make sense of what had happened and perhaps how she will survive through all these and the aftermath. Also mind what you may call “advice”- some advice will only be necessary after the burial, but not in the period of mourning.

4. Pray for them- I use this method a lot when dealing with the aggrieved. I normally don’t say anything and try not to sound like a sage who can answer all of life’s mysterious questions. I just show up and offer a word of prayer. It tends to go a very long way. I believe in the power of prayer.

May I leave with this word of comfort for anybody currently in grief:

He suffered and endured great pain for us, but we thought his suffering was punishment from God.” Isaiah‬ ‭53:4‬

Jesus Christ suffered great pains for us. He bore our griefs and sorrows, so that we don’t have to carry the burden alone. He is a friend who is willing to help us off load the burden of grief. Make room and invite Him into your life. Receive help, comfort and healing that comes from Jesus. He is as real as the person sitting next to you.

May we be one another’s keeper… indeed!

Till I come your way again

Peace & Love

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Dealing with grief

Last week, we looked at the subject on grief. We defined it and look at how grief becomes complicated when you are not healing. This led us to look at a few of the negative implications that can arise.

Today, we want to turn our attention on dealing with grief. I use the word dealing and not dealt. I believe grief is not a won battle, but a winning one. Why say so? Because from time to time, we will experience losses and deaths of loved ones, sometimes unexpected which will bring us back to the stage of grief, so we have to develop a winning edge over that.

The recent grief I can think of was when my father passed. It was a time of sorrow, stress and mourning for me personally, and my family too. As I write today, I have had closure and inner healing. Want to share a few steps on what I did. Honestly, I don’t think I truly sat down and thought of those things at the time of mourning, till I recounted some of them a few weeks ago. Hope this speaks to you, my fellow reader.

1. Music- the day after I received the news, I just played & listened to music which was a great stress reliever. Certain songs I knew by the heart started to have a greater depth and meaning to me like, What A Friend We Have In Jesus. Singing some of the songs to myself put me in an upbeat mood & positive attitude. You feel there is light at the end of the tunnel.

2. Going on a spiritual journey– I am a Christian by faith. So for me going on that journey included prayer, bible reading, meditation and worship. One of the books I studied from the Bible during that period was Joshua. There were a lot of life lessons I noted and applied. Prayer was of paramount importance because it made me serene and gave me some strength to soldier on, whilst consoling myself and my family.

3. A great support system- I had that from my family, especially the extended unit of cousins, aunties and uncles. Some friends were very God-sent in that hour. As I write, I remember each one of them. My pastor in particular came over to spend some few days with me; prayed with me and encouraged me. He did that at the expense of changing his flight itinerary, rearranging his busy schedule and unexpected cost. Flying at the last minute is costly! That spoke loudly to me. Relationships are very vital and important!

Bear in mind, I am not telling you to do the exact things I did to deal with grief. Rather, I am just sharing how I dealt with grief at a point in my life and hope it can give you some pointers and also encourage you there is a way out of the inconsolable pain you might be going through.

I dedicate today’s post to my dear mother. She handles adversity with a quiet strength and grace. This wasn’t easy, but anytime I talk to her, I am grateful to God for keeping her sane and well. God bless her!

Know that this season you are in shall surely pass. It may not seem like it. Trust me, I know!

Before I sign off, let me thank this community for promoting this blog and forwarding the articles. Last week, we had a lot of traffic on this site because of this topic. Thanks for your encouraging emails too. I have read all and responded.

Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love