Failure

Today’s topic can be a nightmare for some people, because they are still reeling from the effects it has caused. Failure is the modern day “leprosy”. Nobody wants to be tagged with that word or hang around anything or anybody for that matter who has that aura.

One thing we can all relate to is we have all failed before. As far as you live in this world, failure is inevitable. Today’s post is not necessarily on how to avoid it- it is not really possible, but how to look at it in a different view.

I once heard, “your view point will determine your point of view”. Each one of us narrates things by how we look at it in our thoughts or perspective. If you have a healthy perspective, the matter will be a healthy one; a negative outlook will produce a negative point of view. My prayer before I wrote today is someone’s mind will be disabused from the fear of failure.

What is failure then? It is when you have come short of your goal. Your goal was to pass an exam, you failed. Your goal was to start a business, you failed. Your goal was to have a healthy marriage, you failed at that and divorce.

We can give many more of that. There are many reasons why we fail at some things, but don’t beat yourself over it and have a belly full of regret about it. What really can you do when an egg is smashed? You can either mope about it or get the bucket and mop to clear the accident. If you are reading and have failed, welcome to life 101. It’s normal and not that strange- we have all experienced it one way or another.

Facts on failure

It is an event, not your identity– don’t attach failure to your identity. The fact is you failed, but please listen to me because I came with the truth, “you are not a failure”. You need to repeat this to yourself. People have felt depressed and committed suicide because they see failure as part of their identity and make up, so they conclude, “I am dumb, useless, worthless, good for nothing”, “how can I make such a silly mistake?!”. It is nothing more than an event. It is just a page in your book, but it doesn’t tell the whole story, flip a new page and create something new until your story book is complete. Don’t determine your intelligence on some exam you failed, you are smart, dude! Don’t let the 48 interviews you have failed label you as a burden to the society and nothing to offer because you are unemployed. In life, people call the package what has been labeled. If you see yourself as a failure, people will start calling you that and it will affect your self confidence.

Successful people fail a lot- that is why they are successful. They have tried so many avenues, many methods, hit and miss a lot, done “trial and error” before hitting their break. Thomas Edison upon inventing the light bulb failed several times and this is what he said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work…”. Failure is at times an indicator you are very close to success, if you don’t give up. Failure should serve as motivation that you are at least trying. People who claim to have never failed before are lazy and complacent people. The folding of the hands is no adventure really! Keep pounding the pavement.

Failure can contain you- one of the many battles we fight is that of containment. To be contained means to be restricted to go beyond what you were wired. Say, if you were to go at 5,000 miles and you are doing 2,500, you are contained. Failure has such a devastating effect that if not checked, can paralyze you and cripple your hopes from ever trying again. Some never finished the course, because of one failed test- they couldn’t get over it. You have gone back to alcohol because you relapsed when you were sober. I understand the pain, disappointment and frustration, so don’t throw all the years of sobriety away because of a relapse. If you truly can’t be celibate and not called for that, why have you given up on marriage, because of a past divorce?

I pray all of us reading today will be set free from the sting of failure so that we can have the freedom to be.

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Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love