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A Mother’s Advice on Manhood II

Hello, hope your weekend was good, and glad to come your way again.

Last week, we looked at a mother in Bathsheba advising her son, King Solomon, also known as Lemuel on manhood. The first piece of her advice to her son, who was on the ascent to a king, was on womanizing.

Like we established last week, his mother’s advice was not on leadership or governing principles, but being a good person at the core. You can have all the leadership principles, but if your core being is bad, you will be a bad leader.

Today, let us focus on the second part of her advice with our text on Proverbs 31:4-7.

4It is not for kings, O Lemuel, It is not for kings to drink wine, Nor for princes intoxicating drink; 5Lest they drink and forget the law, And pervert the justice of all the afflicted. 6Give strong drink to him who is perishing, And wine to those who are bitter of heart. 7Let him drink and forget his poverty, And remember his misery no more.” Proverbs‬ ‭31:4-7‬

This second piece of advice will strike a nerve with most men, or people reading in general; this is on alcoholism. His mother was not talking about having a social drink, but something deeper than that.

Personally, I allow my Christian beliefs and conviction to guide me, and I don’t drink at all. The subject at hand is not to convince you whether alcohol is a vice or virtue, but rather look at alcoholism which is being addicted to alcohol. With it, comes many implications that are rather damaging than good. In this text, Lemuel’s mother gave her son three reasons to consider before giving in to strong drink.

1. He will forget the law– drinking puts you “under influence” where good judgement and sound discretion are missing. You cease thinking well for that matter when addicted to alcohol. As a king, he needed the law to bring good governance to his nation. How will he do that when drunk? Anytime, there is a festive season around the corner, the most popular infomercial is the adverse effects of drink driving, because that is the commonest misfortune. The laws of a country permits a drink or two for everyone, but prohibits been under influence wanting to do assigned tasks like driving which could endanger many.

2. He perverts justice for the afflicted– the original text in Hebrew reads, “to deny the afflicted what is due them”. A sign of wise leadership is where justice is prevalent. Alcoholism dulls the senses from being fair and right, and plays into the emotional being of a person when making a decision. You and I know the importance of emotions, but it is not always the right outlet when it comes to critical thinking and problem solving. Relying on emotions all the time will cause a lapse in judgement.

3. It is not a good remedy for pain– three kinds of pain are mentioned in the text: one who is perishing meaning wretched, a bitter person and a poor person. It numbs the feelings, but doesn’t change the reality of your circumstance. When in pain, there are many alternatives that can help than alcohol. Giving in to strong drink in the time of your pain gives a powerful statement that you have given up and ready to die. The thing about alcohol is, when the sensation wears off, you are back to square one; it won’t change the problem or whatever state you found yourself in the first place. May I ask this question; when in misery, will you prefer not remembering it or getting out of the misery? Alcohol offers only the first option.

On this note, I end: guard your sobriety and vigilance at all cost. There is nothing that beats being in the present and in the moment. It is a great asset to yourself and the community at large.

Thanks for reading. Please comment. I will like to know your thoughts and don’t forget to like or share this post. Subscribe to this blog too, if you haven’t.

Till, I come your way again…

Peace & Love

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A Mother’s Advice on Manhood I

Hello, it has been long and glad to come your way again by this post. Hope we all had a good weekend?

This month, I want to look at the subject on manhood from a biblical point of view. One of the many things discussed in our world is, on how to be a man. Sometimes, the definition and treatise on manhood can come from a place of relativism. When your information is based solely on culture, society, or historical content, that information ceases to be absolute.

We also often look at who should talk on this subject? Is it the accomplished athlete, the bodybuilder, the successful corporate guy, the dutiful husband or the doting father?

Personally, I think the Bible has a very balanced view on this all important subject, so that will be our source for this month. I want us to look at a mother’s counsel to her son which will serve as our template.

In our scripture passage in Proverbs 31:1-9, you will see four things highlighted there and we will deal with one aspect weekly. The woman in question is Bathsheeba, mother of King Solomon, who was also known as Lemuel being advised on how to be a king. She didn’t focus too much on leadership or management principles, but rather talked on the core of a person’s being.

I learnt something important right there that leadership flows from the core of your being, so if you don’t focus on building that core of a person to be better day in and out, no matter your acquired leadership principles, you will still be a bad leader. With that said, let us look at the first part of her advice.

“The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him: What, my son? And what, son of my womb? And what, son of my vows? Do not give your strength to women, Nor your ways to that which destroys kings.” Proverbs‬ ‭31:1-3‬

So the first advice is on womanizing. Womanizing is engaging in numerous casual, sexual affairs with women, which at times leads to multiple affairs.

Throughout historical and contemporary times, womanizing is a polarizing subject. Some, for it, others against it. People look at it based on which grounds they are coming from. Looking at this from my Christian background, it does more harm than good.

You can’t build a solid family unit if a man is engaged in too many relations with others. The family is structured in such a way that it demands two spouses in a unit to raise children who will in turn affect the fiber of society, and goes a long way to shape the country. The society is as strong as the family.

Secondly, it has been proven historically that kingdoms and empires ended when kings married so many wives. Marriage is not only the union of two people; it is also the union of destinies, behaviors, influences, histories, world-views, families, generational mindsets and tendencies… and the like. What happens is, with each spouse comes a certain experience and counsel which might not always turn out good for the kingdom a king governs.

Look at a typical example with King Solomon who was the recipient of this advice.

But King Solomon loved many foreign women, as well as the daughter of Pharaoh: women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians, and Hittites— from the nations of whom the Lord had said to the children of Israel, “You shall not intermarry with them, nor they with you. Surely they will turn away your hearts after their gods.” Solomon clung to these in love.” I Kings‬ ‭11:1-2‬ ‭

Lemuel also known as Solomon here didn’t heed to his mother’s counsel. This affected Solomon’s reign as a king; he introduced different value systems and religious beliefs as a result of multiple marriages and affairs, which changed the entire structure of his kingdom. If you read the story further, his kingdom didn’t last.

A man exposed to multiple affairs also gives his strength away by exposing himself to diseases out there. STDs and multiple affairs coexist! They are partners. Strength is always not physical, could also mean financial strength. It is expensive and in my opinion, a waste of money to be in multiple affairs which doesn’t give you the height of satisfaction, yet renders you broke. If multiple affairs do bring satisfaction, why not stop at the next partner and keep chasing? It is an endless trail of passion that can never be quenched.

The quality of a society is based on the wholeness of a family unit, and the family is as strong as the man.

For the sake of family and the society, men have to come to a place of total wholeness experiencing REAL manhood.

Please like, share and comment on today’s post. Subscribe to this blog too if you haven’t.

Till, I come your way again…

Peace & Love