A Mother’s Advice on Manhood IV

Glad to come your way again. Today, we will conclude on this subject by looking at the last piece of advice to Solomon by his mother on manhood.

Over the past three issues, we looked at

1. Guarding against womanizing.

2 Guarding against alcoholism.

3. Speaking up on behalf of the defenseless.

Solomon’s mother was more particular about the core of her son’s being before he becomes king, rather than just becoming a good leader. Sometimes you can become good at what you do, and bad at who you are. There is a world of difference between the two.

Let us look at the maternal instruction to Solomon in this passage.

“Open your mouth, judge righteously, And plead the cause of the poor and needy.” Proverbs‬ ‭31:9‬ ‭

The last piece of advice was on righteous judgement, which means judging justly. One’s leadership becomes solid when the ingredient of justice is found. You see, you don’t judge righteously because you are a leader. You judge righteously because you are a man of justice first. Who you are determines what you will bring to the table.

How does one become a man of justice or just?

“I will praise You with uprightness of heart, When I learn Your righteous judgments.” Psalms‬ ‭119:7‬ ‭

One of the ways is, to read the Bible. The Bible here is referred to as “righteous judgments”. We can see from this Bible verse that the writer had an upright heart because of what he read. The Bible gives you an outlook in life which affects how you perceive things. One of the things you will discover in the Bible is, how just God is. This book doesn’t just inform, but transforms how we think. One of the ideals you will learn is to be nonpartisan.

With that said, let us look at some features of justice.

1. Correct measurements- this word righteous was used in relation with honest scales and weights in the Hebrew context. You were said to be righteous when you charge correctly without adjusting the scales. Scales back then were used in determining a lot: from an ephah of flour to a hin of oil. In today’s context, being just means you come clean in your business dealings with people concerning measurements or anything that has to do with metrics. You don’t exaggerate or overstretch the truth. Let your “3 feet” TRULY be “3 feet”.

2. Ethically right– righteousness had to do with rightness, which promoted a right way of doing things or having ethics in general. Ethics are commonly known as a moral code. You do things right because they are right. Ethics are born out of conviction, not convenience. People who have this sense and duty of doing things right listen to their conscience. Our conscience serves as a moral compass but the more we forsake it, it ends up becoming a dead one. It is just like not using a muscle which later atrophies. For example, what causes one to receive bribes; the other, rejects it? Conscience.

3. Impartiality- to execute righteous judgement, you don’t have to play games of favoritism. The rules should apply to all! In this life, there can be some exceptions to the rule, but as it is normally said, “the exception is not the rule”. That is quite understandable, but generally speaking, we shouldn’t allow respect of persons to cloud fair judgement. We become impartial when we look at a person’s skin color, financial status, relationship status and the like. We have to look beyond these and assess people based on character.

I end on this. God requires all of us to be just people. You don’t have to be a leader to exhibit that. Start small from wherever you are.

“Mankind, He has told you what is good and what it is the Lord requires of you: to act justly, to love faithfulness, and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah‬ ‭6:8‬ ‭

I want to thank everybody who has supported this blog over the years. I hope today’s post spoke to you?

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Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love.


A Mother’s Advice on Manhood III

Hello, glad to come your way again. Hope your weekend went well? In some parts of the world was Father’s Day.

Today, we want to continue with Bathsheba’s advice to Solomon, who was on the ascent to a king. Let us look at the Bible text in Proverbs 31:8.

“But you are to be a king who speaks up on behalf of the disenfranchised and pleads for the legal rights of the defenseless and those who are dying.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:8‬ ‭TPT‬‬

You know, Solomon’s advice was being a good man, which should be the core of who he is. The core of who a man is, will definitely affect the quality of his leadership. So before Solomon will become a king, this quality of defending the defenseless should be first seen. Leadership sometimes doesn’t afford you the space to be something new or develop a new set of skills. It rather capitalizes on who you are, what you have, and then amplify those.

One thing we should know in this life is, there abounds many disenfranchised people who will never be in a position such as yours; people affected by systemic racism, people who don’t have economic opportunities, those who lack an education, the marginalized in society… and so on, and so forth.

The reality is, we live with these people and as people who may be a step above them. We must use our influence for the good of mankind. That is what makes one a leader in his community. Solomon’s mother advised her son to speak up for the unprivileged and plead their cause.

This to me talks about empathy. It is different from sympathy, which has to do with feeling sorry for a person or the condition he finds himself in. This rather deals with understanding the situation of a person by putting yourself in his shoes, then coming up with a solution to remedy that. Real men empathize! Sometimes, we paint a toxic picture of masculinity which promotes not been in touch with our emotions.

Our influence should not only cater to the powerful, privileged, the educated or the enfranchised. You make no difference or affect people’s lives for the better if these are the class or group you always want to be associated with. The other truth we should know is, they are just the minority of the world’s population. Our leadership and influence will then cease to be effective and irrelevant.

Life has a greater purpose and meaning when we stop living for ourselves and think of the next man’s plight, and how we can help make the world a better place for them. Without empathy, man will keep living selfishly thinking of “me, myself and I” which is really an empty shell of living. People who don’t think of other people are the most miserable and loneliest.

I pray that whoever reads this, especially men, will learn to empathize with people’s pain and misfortune, and then use our influence for the betterment of lives. It helps one become a better husband, father, son, brother, work colleague, leader… and a better man.

Speak up for the defenseless! Plead the cause of justice for those deprived! Our strong arms and chiseled physique we may have worked out in the gym shouldn’t only be featured in Men’s Health magazines or GQ for that matter, but should bear the weak and the in-firmed among us. You are not to solve the world’s problems, but you can help that friend, neighbor or whoever you know with your influence for a right cause.

May God continue to bless and prosper our plans!

I hope you were blessed by today’s post and learnt something. I will appreciate your feedback in the comments section.

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Till, I come your way again…

Peace & Love


A Mother’s Advice on Manhood II

Hello, hope your weekend was good, and glad to come your way again.

Last week, we looked at a mother in Bathsheba advising her son, King Solomon, also known as Lemuel on manhood. The first piece of her advice to her son, who was on the ascent to a king, was on womanizing.

Like we established last week, his mother’s advice was not on leadership or governing principles, but being a good person at the core. You can have all the leadership principles, but if your core being is bad, you will be a bad leader.

Today, let us focus on the second part of her advice with our text on Proverbs 31:4-7.

4It is not for kings, O Lemuel, It is not for kings to drink wine, Nor for princes intoxicating drink; 5Lest they drink and forget the law, And pervert the justice of all the afflicted. 6Give strong drink to him who is perishing, And wine to those who are bitter of heart. 7Let him drink and forget his poverty, And remember his misery no more.” Proverbs‬ ‭31:4-7‬

This second piece of advice will strike a nerve with most men, or people reading in general; this is on alcoholism. His mother was not talking about having a social drink, but something deeper than that.

Personally, I allow my Christian beliefs and conviction to guide me, and I don’t drink at all. The subject at hand is not to convince you whether alcohol is a vice or virtue, but rather look at alcoholism which is being addicted to alcohol. With it, comes many implications that are rather damaging than good. In this text, Lemuel’s mother gave her son three reasons to consider before giving in to strong drink.

1. He will forget the law– drinking puts you “under influence” where good judgement and sound discretion are missing. You cease thinking well for that matter when addicted to alcohol. As a king, he needed the law to bring good governance to his nation. How will he do that when drunk? Anytime, there is a festive season around the corner, the most popular infomercial is the adverse effects of drink driving, because that is the commonest misfortune. The laws of a country permits a drink or two for everyone, but prohibits been under influence wanting to do assigned tasks like driving which could endanger many.

2. He perverts justice for the afflicted– the original text in Hebrew reads, “to deny the afflicted what is due them”. A sign of wise leadership is where justice is prevalent. Alcoholism dulls the senses from being fair and right, and plays into the emotional being of a person when making a decision. You and I know the importance of emotions, but it is not always the right outlet when it comes to critical thinking and problem solving. Relying on emotions all the time will cause a lapse in judgement.

3. It is not a good remedy for pain– three kinds of pain are mentioned in the text: one who is perishing meaning wretched, a bitter person and a poor person. It numbs the feelings, but doesn’t change the reality of your circumstance. When in pain, there are many alternatives that can help than alcohol. Giving in to strong drink in the time of your pain gives a powerful statement that you have given up and ready to die. The thing about alcohol is, when the sensation wears off, you are back to square one; it won’t change the problem or whatever state you found yourself in the first place. May I ask this question; when in misery, will you prefer not remembering it or getting out of the misery? Alcohol offers only the first option.

On this note, I end: guard your sobriety and vigilance at all cost. There is nothing that beats being in the present and in the moment. It is a great asset to yourself and the community at large.

Thanks for reading. Please comment. I will like to know your thoughts and don’t forget to like or share this post. Subscribe to this blog too, if you haven’t.

Till, I come your way again…

Peace & Love


A Mother’s Advice on Manhood I

Hello, it has been long and glad to come your way again by this post. Hope we all had a good weekend?

This month, I want to look at the subject on manhood from a biblical point of view. One of the many things discussed in our world is, on how to be a man. Sometimes, the definition and treatise on manhood can come from a place of relativism. When your information is based solely on culture, society, or historical content, that information ceases to be absolute.

We also often look at who should talk on this subject? Is it the accomplished athlete, the bodybuilder, the successful corporate guy, the dutiful husband or the doting father?

Personally, I think the Bible has a very balanced view on this all important subject, so that will be our source for this month. I want us to look at a mother’s counsel to her son which will serve as our template.

In our scripture passage in Proverbs 31:1-9, you will see four things highlighted there and we will deal with one aspect weekly. The woman in question is Bathsheeba, mother of King Solomon, who was also known as Lemuel being advised on how to be a king. She didn’t focus too much on leadership or management principles, but rather talked on the core of a person’s being.

I learnt something important right there that leadership flows from the core of your being, so if you don’t focus on building that core of a person to be better day in and out, no matter your acquired leadership principles, you will still be a bad leader. With that said, let us look at the first part of her advice.

“The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him: What, my son? And what, son of my womb? And what, son of my vows? Do not give your strength to women, Nor your ways to that which destroys kings.” Proverbs‬ ‭31:1-3‬

So the first advice is on womanizing. Womanizing is engaging in numerous casual, sexual affairs with women, which at times leads to multiple affairs.

Throughout historical and contemporary times, womanizing is a polarizing subject. Some, for it, others against it. People look at it based on which grounds they are coming from. Looking at this from my Christian background, it does more harm than good.

You can’t build a solid family unit if a man is engaged in too many relations with others. The family is structured in such a way that it demands two spouses in a unit to raise children who will in turn affect the fiber of society, and goes a long way to shape the country. The society is as strong as the family.

Secondly, it has been proven historically that kingdoms and empires ended when kings married so many wives. Marriage is not only the union of two people; it is also the union of destinies, behaviors, influences, histories, world-views, families, generational mindsets and tendencies… and the like. What happens is, with each spouse comes a certain experience and counsel which might not always turn out good for the kingdom a king governs.

Look at a typical example with King Solomon who was the recipient of this advice.

But King Solomon loved many foreign women, as well as the daughter of Pharaoh: women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians, and Hittites— from the nations of whom the Lord had said to the children of Israel, “You shall not intermarry with them, nor they with you. Surely they will turn away your hearts after their gods.” Solomon clung to these in love.” I Kings‬ ‭11:1-2‬ ‭

Lemuel also known as Solomon here didn’t heed to his mother’s counsel. This affected Solomon’s reign as a king; he introduced different value systems and religious beliefs as a result of multiple marriages and affairs, which changed the entire structure of his kingdom. If you read the story further, his kingdom didn’t last.

A man exposed to multiple affairs also gives his strength away by exposing himself to diseases out there. STDs and multiple affairs coexist! They are partners. Strength is always not physical, could also mean financial strength. It is expensive and in my opinion, a waste of money to be in multiple affairs which doesn’t give you the height of satisfaction, yet renders you broke. If multiple affairs do bring satisfaction, why not stop at the next partner and keep chasing? It is an endless trail of passion that can never be quenched.

The quality of a society is based on the wholeness of a family unit, and the family is as strong as the man.

For the sake of family and the society, men have to come to a place of total wholeness experiencing REAL manhood.

Please like, share and comment on today’s post. Subscribe to this blog too if you haven’t.

Till, I come your way again…

Peace & Love