Put Your Work Clothes On

“Through [skillful and godly] wisdom a house [a life, a home, a family] is built, And by understanding it is established [on a sound and good foundation], And by knowledge its rooms are filled With all precious and pleasant riches.” Proverbs‬ ‭24:3-4‬ ‬‬

Hello, glad to come your way again. All too soon, we are in the last quarter (4th) of an eventful year. Today, I want to use this bible verse to talk about the family, particularly marriage.

First and foremost, marriage is a difficult (not impossible) enterprise to build. It involves many, many hours of labor, sweat, blood and tears. The illusion that marriage affords me to live with my other half “happily ever after” is a myth that needs to be shattered.

In this scripture, we see three virtues, though unconventional, that builds a family.

1. Knowledge- knowledge is generally defined as the acquisition of information. So before you step into a marriage relation; you have to know about the family dynamics, responsibilities of the spouses, what is entailed in a marriage, the challenges at each phase and stage of the marriage… so much we can list here. Reading books and having mentors are great ways of receiving information. Don’t only be enamored with preparing for the wedding (event) which is good, also invest an equal amount of time on the marriage (lifetime) knowledge wise. Knowledge fills the room of your house (marriage) with all pleasant and precious riches like peace, compatibility and the like.

2. Understanding- the general definition of understanding is comprehension. Anything comprehendible means you have been schooled in that area that you can answer majority of the questions asked. Understanding of the marriage relation establishes the union. Most quarrels and fights stem from a lack of understanding- the root cause. One general understanding we should have is the nature of marriage conflicts and effective conflict resolution skills. Every home is bound to experience conflict(s). You can’t pray it away or wish it away either. Be more concerned about how to handle conflicts when they rise. Have a general understanding too of crisis. It is bound to happen. It is amusing to watch people think, once married then all their problems will go away. Not quite true. Understanding how to deal with crisis and conflicts among many others stabilizes the union.

3. Wisdom- you build a family, house or for that matter, a marriage on wisdom. It is the practical application of knowledge you understand. The goal of knowing is to practically apply. Knowing and learning without application destroys the fiber of the marriage union and erodes trust. A wife will roll her eyes at her husband when he suggests they go for another marriage retreat or family conference. Every book read, all information gleaned and any advice received should be put to heart and practiced. Trust is built between spouses when they are “doers”, rather than “talkers” and “learners”.

I hope this has been a blessing reading? Let me know. Will love to read your comments and feedback as always. I enjoy interacting with the community that gives me feedback on a constant basis. Thank you.

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Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love

NB: I dedicate today’s blog to Albert and Darla. They counseled us prior to getting married and are our marriage mentors presently.