Month: December 2019

Hello, i trust you had a good Christmas? By now we all know that the dawn of a new year is fast approaching.

Want to talk about something I have observed over a period of time. Most people have the habit of closing down on a year around November/December. They postpone everything into the following year, and that cycle of promising to do something becomes never ending.

If you have any goals to acheive, a vision to fulfill; my question is why wait till next year? Why don’t you start digging around your assignment now, so that next year will meet you in a state of preparedness. If you have to lose weight, why do you want to wait till January 1st? Start now. Don’t postpone what you can do today into next year.

I realize people who do that will always have a boatload of excuses, and then come November or December, they will postpone their destinies again into the upcoming year.

Let us break the cycle this year. Yes, it’s true we have just some few more days into the new year (depending on which part of the world you are in). Get busy, engage your mind, yet still enjoy the rest of the festivities left and have fun.

I want to wish you all a happy new year. God bless us all with long life & good health. May your desires come to fruition.

Please like, share and subscribe to this blog. I thank you all for your support you have thrown behind me this year.

Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love

We have talked about the two Cs which are the condemned and the conformed. Today we want to look at the third C which is the contented.

The first two have a lot to do with the emotional reaction of people- how they feel. Contentment is more a state of being than feeling. You have to be content than feel content.

“And Naaman said, Be content, take two talents. And he urged him, and bound two talents of silver in two bags, with two changes of garments, and laid them upon two of his servants; and they bare them before him.” 2 Kings‬ ‭5:23‬

This Bible story goes into the dialogue between Naaman and a man by the name of Gehazi. He approached Naaman with a request, and before Naaman could respond to his request, the first two words to Gehazi was, “be content…”. If you read into the story, you realize Gehazi was greedy and a liar. Anyway, my point to this bible reference was contentment is more a state of being than a feeling.

To be is a matter of choice- it is a decision. The contented don’t have everything; all their ducks are not in a row, they don’t have everything perfect. They may have not achieved some goals; they have had some hits and misses, yet they choose and decide to be content. Very rarely, do you come across such people this season. They have a calmness about them and are able to get into the spirit of Christmas and loose themselves among friends, family and loved ones.

Since they (contented) are a rarity, why don’t we make a decision this time to be among the contented who are counted? A personal example, my wife and I are contented this year, not because we hit ALL of our goals for this year. We hit some, failed at some and missed some, but overall it has been a great year and we are not complaining. Why? Because we choose to be contented.

How do we experience contentment? When we are thankful and have a heart of gratitude, it is easier to have an attitude of contentment. To be grateful, you just have to remember to count your blessings and name them one by one. This December, I embarked on this exercise (still doing it). I have been shocked- so much goes on without taking notice to stop and say thank you. I am grateful to God for many, many things and thankful that I have life. Why don’t you try this exercise after reading? It will cure us of dissatisfaction, a feeling of underachievement and our attitude of grumbling and complaining.

May this season count and don’t let this go down the drain. Remember, where you are now is a matter of perspective.

I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas filled with fun, excitement and gratitude. I hope this will give you a renewed sense of hope for the new year and the next decade ahead. Let me also say thank you for the amazing feedback I have have received over the past two weeks on this subject. Have you ever thought of something and said, “this is a foolish idea“? Well, when this thought came to me to write, I said it was a foolish idea, but decided to “write and see”. Thanks again for the vote of confidence.

Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love

Last week, we were on this journey talking about the different emotional reactions of people in general as Christmas approaches. It could be a lot, but I have narrowed it down to three.

Today, let us look at the second C which is the conformed. It simply means to comply, which sometimes can be good, but I am looking at it from a different context. What is it about the conformed?

They are people who have felt depressed and seem to be in never ending battles- one after the other. At a point, they just let down their guards and become the poster child of defeat. Such people have no spirit in them, but toe the line and go with the flow. Wherever the currents take them, they assume that is their lot. They have a “que sera sera” attitude. They don’t look forward to this season; laughter can invoke sadness, joy brings their pain out. And, they also don’t believe in a new year, because it is the “same ol’, same ol‘ ”

One of the common features is they zone out in the midst of people. They are absent minded and talk to themselves at any given moment. People like that tend to have a very short fuse and can blow up over nothing.

How do we deal with the conformed this Christmas season? Please understand, their outbursts and temper tantrums might not be your fault. It is just a sign of internal defeat, hence the lashing out. People like that need a lot of understanding– empathy helps them; love– they need to feel special and know no matter life’s challenges, they truly matter, and bags of patience to handle their emotional rawness and pain

One of the themes of Christmas is love. Let us show love to one another. Some are difficult to love, but we can, in the spirit of Christ.

God bless all of you as you make plans to celebrate with your family and loved ones. I hope today’s post taught you something? Please I will like to read your comments and don’t forget to like, share and subscribe to this blog.

Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love

All too soon, we will be celebrating Christmas soon! I can see the excitement in some faces as they trim their Christmas trees with decor. Some houses are already in the festive mood and it shows in their decorations. They create a nice view when driving around.

Glad to come your way with another post and today, we want to look at the emotional reactions the Yuletide Season can sometimes evoke out of people. It is quite unfortunate that not all share in the enthusiasm and excitement of this season.

The first C is Condemned.

Believe it or not, some feel condemned because as Christmas approaches, it suddenly dawns on them that less than ten days, the year will be over. It forces them to look at all the enthusiastic resolutions they made at the beginning of the year, believing they were going to be ticked. They realize that their unticked goals are a far reality away from home. This can be a wet blanket on the festivities; they are in no mood to celebrate or gather with friends and family. This can cause acute depression if not taken care.

People who feel condemned isolate themselves from every social gathering this season and will refuse to answer calls. Sometimes, they are also reminded of some past severed relationships and broken homes (maybe, was in a previous marriage). The height of loneliness reaches its peak during that season. They end up moping and blaming themselves for the disintegration of some relationships. Anybody who plays pity party is normally a victim of condemnation. The funny thing is, that feeling of condemnation only happens during Christmas! Every other day, they are their preppy self.

My advice is don’t let your achievement of goals weigh you down. It is probably better to leave it for now, and focus on the most important thing during this season: relationships. After the festivities, look at your goals and apply critical thinking on what next to do. Secondly, if you have an opportunity to reconcile certain relationships. Why not? Do it, than living a belly full of regret every Christmas.

Take care of your emotional health and have a good week.

Please comment, share and subscribe to this blog.

Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians‬ ‭6:2‬ ‭

Hello, it is good to come your way again. Hope you had a restful weekend? Today, we want to wrap up our series of posts on grief and focus on us ministering to the aggrieved.

When I talk of the word, ministering? What do I actually mean? The word that jumps off the bat to me is serving. As a society, how can one be of service to one another, especially the unfortunate, the disadvantaged, the disenfranchised, and the list goes on? One of the many benefits of a community is being there for one another.

The good book, the Bible, adds its voice that bearing one another’s burden means you have fulfilled the law of Christ.

“A problem shared is a problem halved. A joy shared is a joy doubled”- Katie M. John

This proverbial saying expreses the idea that, when in difficulty or in a happy instance, it is useful to talk to someone. All of us can help in our own small way when it comes to serving a grieved person. Some express that desire, but don’t know how to go about it. I hope this sparks a flame in your thoughts as you read.

1. Show up physically if possible- if you happen to be in close proximity, make time and visit the person. Your physical presence is a message already conveyed when the grieved person sees you. You don’t have to say anything per se. Just sitting with the person and empathizing alleviates the pain of loss a bit.

2. Write handwritten notes or send texts- if you can’t be physically present, write a handwritten note or you could send a text. I think a handwritten note is more personal than a text. When someone is in grief, no amount of talking will make sense to the person at that moment. But with a note, when the pain subsides and they are able to get their head around, they will read the note and make sense of what you would have possibly said at the time of mourning.

3. Be sensitive- when someone is in grief, mind your language, body posture and if I may say, your appearance. All these speak loudly than you can imagine. I remember once I went to see a lady who had lost her husband, and a group of guys were there shamelessly and seriously arguing about their favorite soccer team and player. That was an anti climax, considering the event at hand- a wife was inconsolable trying to make sense of what had happened and perhaps how she will survive through all these and the aftermath. Also mind what you may call “advice”- some advice will only be necessary after the burial, but not in the period of mourning.

4. Pray for them- I use this method a lot when dealing with the aggrieved. I normally don’t say anything and try not to sound like a sage who can answer all of life’s mysterious questions. I just show up and offer a word of prayer. It tends to go a very long way. I believe in the power of prayer.

May I leave with this word of comfort for anybody currently in grief:

“He suffered and endured great pain for us, but we thought his suffering was punishment from God.” Isaiah‬ ‭53:4‬ ‭

Jesus Christ suffered great pains for us. He bore our griefs and sorrows, so that we don’t have to carry the burden alone. He is a friend who is willing to help us off load the burden of grief. Make room and invite Him into your life. Receive help, comfort and healing that comes from Jesus. He is as real as the person sitting next to you.

May we be one another’s keeper… indeed!

Till I come your way again

Peace & Love