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The 3 Cs of the Christmas Season I

All too soon, we will be celebrating Christmas soon! I can see the excitement in some faces as they trim their Christmas trees with decor. Some houses are already in the festive mood and it shows in their decorations. They create a nice view when driving around.

Glad to come your way with another post and today, we want to look at the emotional reactions the Yuletide Season can sometimes evoke out of people. It is quite unfortunate that not all share in the enthusiasm and excitement of this season.

The first C is Condemned.

Believe it or not, some feel condemned because as Christmas approaches, it suddenly dawns on them that less than ten days, the year will be over. It forces them to look at all the enthusiastic resolutions they made at the beginning of the year, believing they were going to be ticked. They realize that their unticked goals are a far reality away from home. This can be a wet blanket on the festivities; they are in no mood to celebrate or gather with friends and family. This can cause acute depression if not taken care.

People who feel condemned isolate themselves from every social gathering this season and will refuse to answer calls. Sometimes, they are also reminded of some past severed relationships and broken homes (maybe, was in a previous marriage). The height of loneliness reaches its peak during that season. They end up moping and blaming themselves for the disintegration of some relationships. Anybody who plays pity party is normally a victim of condemnation. The funny thing is, that feeling of condemnation only happens during Christmas! Every other day, they are their preppy self.

My advice is don’t let your achievement of goals weigh you down. It is probably better to leave it for now, and focus on the most important thing during this season: relationships. After the festivities, look at your goals and apply critical thinking on what next to do. Secondly, if you have an opportunity to reconcile certain relationships. Why not? Do it, than living a belly full of regret every Christmas.

Take care of your emotional health and have a good week.

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Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love

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Ministering to the grieved

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians‬ ‭6:2‬ ‭

Hello, it is good to come your way again. Hope you had a restful weekend? Today, we want to wrap up our series of posts on grief and focus on us ministering to the aggrieved.

When I talk of the word, ministering? What do I actually mean? The word that jumps off the bat to me is serving. As a society, how can one be of service to one another, especially the unfortunate, the disadvantaged, the disenfranchised, and the list goes on? One of the many benefits of a community is being there for one another.

The good book, the Bible, adds its voice that bearing one another’s burden means you have fulfilled the law of Christ.

“A problem shared is a problem halved. A joy shared is a joy doubled”- Katie M. John

This proverbial saying expreses the idea that, when in difficulty or in a happy instance, it is useful to talk to someone. All of us can help in our own small way when it comes to serving a grieved person. Some express that desire, but don’t know how to go about it. I hope this sparks a flame in your thoughts as you read.

1. Show up physically if possible- if you happen to be in close proximity, make time and visit the person. Your physical presence is a message already conveyed when the grieved person sees you. You don’t have to say anything per se. Just sitting with the person and empathizing alleviates the pain of loss a bit.

2. Write handwritten notes or send texts- if you can’t be physically present, write a handwritten note or you could send a text. I think a handwritten note is more personal than a text. When someone is in grief, no amount of talking will make sense to the person at that moment. But with a note, when the pain subsides and they are able to get their head around, they will read the note and make sense of what you would have possibly said at the time of mourning.

3. Be sensitive- when someone is in grief, mind your language, body posture and if I may say, your appearance. All these speak loudly than you can imagine. I remember once I went to see a lady who had lost her husband, and a group of guys were there shamelessly and seriously arguing about their favorite soccer team and player. That was an anti climax, considering the event at hand- a wife was inconsolable trying to make sense of what had happened and perhaps how she will survive through all these and the aftermath. Also mind what you may call “advice”- some advice will only be necessary after the burial, but not in the period of mourning.

4. Pray for them- I use this method a lot when dealing with the aggrieved. I normally don’t say anything and try not to sound like a sage who can answer all of life’s mysterious questions. I just show up and offer a word of prayer. It tends to go a very long way. I believe in the power of prayer.

May I leave with this word of comfort for anybody currently in grief:

He suffered and endured great pain for us, but we thought his suffering was punishment from God.” Isaiah‬ ‭53:4‬

Jesus Christ suffered great pains for us. He bore our griefs and sorrows, so that we don’t have to carry the burden alone. He is a friend who is willing to help us off load the burden of grief. Make room and invite Him into your life. Receive help, comfort and healing that comes from Jesus. He is as real as the person sitting next to you.

May we be one another’s keeper… indeed!

Till I come your way again

Peace & Love