Month: September 2019

“But I have intelligence as well as you; I am not inferior to you. And who does not know such things as these?” Job‬ ‭12:3‬ ‭‬‬

In life, there is nothing more painful than been doubted by people who you call your friends and believe the worst for you, when you are going through a rough patch. That was Job’s story.

This is a biblical account of a wealthy man who lost his wealth, his business, his health and his ten kids, save his wife. This was really a trying time. At a point, his wife told him to abandon his faith and curse his God in whom he trust for their unfortunate plight; he didn’t. Everybody had abandoned him except three of his friends who came to console him. They were Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar.

You never know your loved ones and friends till “you are going through it”. Sometimes problems can be a blessing in disguise because it sifts the genuine from the fake real quick like our friends. These three initially did well to respond when their friend was in insufferable pain, but when you read the story, it would have been better if they didn’t come. They started to diagnose his problems and assume why he was going through such hardships. That is a kick in the gut.

Eliphaz accused Job of sinning that was why he was suffering, which wasn’t the case. His two other friends didn’t help matters either and urged him to repent to God if he had truly sinned, so that this unfortunate episode in his life could end sooner. This is what brings us to today’s topic: inferiority complex.

What is it? It is the feeling of being inferior. Such a state produces one to be either reticent or overly aggressive. Job was a wealthy man and an important man in society with an elevated status. People who come from such backgrounds tend to be very confident, most of the time. So I am very sure he was. But as time went on, the hardships in life and the miserable comfort he received from his friends started to make him feel inferior about himself.

Most times, it is said people with certain temperaments like a phlegmatic can easily suffer from inferiority complex. However, there are external factors that can trigger that like having people who don’t believe in you and always talk down at you. Most people who feel inferior about themselves, largely has to do with their company. Either, they had unsupportive parents who abused them, or the wrong company of friends who clowned them and made them the butt of every cruel joke. People like that tend to doubt themselves greatly, doubt their abilities and capabilities, and expect the worst out of themselves and for themselves.

Job was feeling inferior and it made him blurt out the words which is our quote for today. Sometimes, the best way to deal with inferiority complex is to speak out for yourself, and then change your circle of association. Your circle of association will form your environment and atmosphere.

As we enter a new month, take a good look at people you call “friends”. Are they really one? Do they support your dreams? Are they genuinely happy for you? Do they seek your welfare? Do they talk down at you in order to feel good about themselves? How do they affect your mood when you see them? Look at yourself: are you docile or overly aggressive? It could be a sign to end those friendships. Until then, you will walk in self pity and self doubt for the rest of your life. How long do you think you can do that?

People with an inferiority complex always put a ceiling on themselves. It is painful to watch when you see a brilliant person who believes he is so stupid and dumb, or to see a beautiful lady who believes she is ugly. May our external factors like our company create the right vibe for us to fully express ourselves to the best of our abilities. Job spoke out! What will you do?

Blessed to come your way again with another blog post. Let me know if this ministered to you. Looking forward to reading your comments as always.

Have a blessed upcoming month!

Till, I come your way again…

Peace & Love

Hope you had a great weekend? Over here, we have moved from one season to another. Last week, we talked on failure. This topic struck a nerve with a lot of people and thank you to our community for sharing and promoting this blog. Just last week Monday alone, the traffic on this site increased by 313%!

We can all relate to this common phenomenon. It is okay and permissible to fail, but not to stay at the place of failure and wallow with a belly full of regret. A larger percentage never shake the dust of failure off them. Please, may we all do this assignment this week- find someone who has failed and be an encouragement. Become a reason for someone’s uprising this week. You may ask, “what about me, I failed?!”. Sometimes, the best way to heal is to forget about your problems and reach out to one who has the same need as yours and probably greater. 

There is a scripture in the Bible I love so much and always want to model that kind of life. 

“And now, brothers and sisters, we want you to know about the grace God gave the churches in Macedonia. They have been tested by great troubles, and they are very poor. But they gave much because of their great joy.” ‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭8:1-2‬ 

Truly, I have helped and reached out in my direst of straits to others, and it was so rewarding and fulfilling. It made me forget about what I was going through and also had the inspiration to heal alongside the others who were being helped.

So with that in mind, let us look at what to do when all falls down.

Pick yourself up- I recently saw a tweet and it goes like this, “Emotional pain lasts for 10 to 20 minutes, anything longer is actually self inflicted by overthinking, making things worse.” Do you agree? Personally, I think emotional pain is temporary, but I don’t know its duration. Will like to pick your brain on that! When we fail, we are in an emotional trauma and shock, the pain is temporal but make choices that won’t prolong the pain and make it a permanent fixture in your life. You pick yourself up by encouraging yourself. Sometimes, your most trusted allies might not be in the mood to pick up your call. Well, I know a friend who sticks closer than a brother and his name is Jesus. He is there by your side, at all times- 24/7. I have a very real and personal relationship with Jesus and will invite you to make room in your life for Him. God is needed in tough times like that. There comes a period when life won’t make sense and this is where God comes in. I don’t know about your religious beliefs or inclinations, but this is my reality.

Look at it from another angle- I heard the great John Maxwell quipped, “…when you fail, use the opportunity to count your lessons and not your losses. You miss the bigger picture if you focus on just the loss”. Sometimes failure is good, because it gives you an opportunity to sit down and look at it again, apply critical thinking and try again. I remember our church organized a community outreach event for its residents. No body and I mean none showed up, except our church members. I felt very discouraged and like a failure, but had to put on a brave face and go ahead with the planned programme. After the event was over, I had the chance to sit down and give it another look. I didn’t just count my losses that day, but numerous lessons which are jotted down for the future. Someone once asked me, “how are you able to give good advice and wise counsel?” I told him, “I have failed some and won some, no secrets really!”

It might be time for closure- this can be a tough pill to swallow, but the writing is clear on the wall: you have lost enthusiasm, the perpetual failures, “the square peg in the round hole situation”, you are always gassed out with little or no energy, always in fear and trepidation, too much effort with very little or nothing in return… the list is endless. There comes a time you have to face the reality it is over and have closure. It doesn’t mean you are a failure. The truth is you failed but it is just an event and don’t let that define you. Move on to what is in line with your strengths, talents and passion, then surround yourself with the right company and the requisite knowledge needed. The fact that you closed a venture doesn’t mean your life is over! No experience is a wasted experience. Be very encouraged!

Rise from the ashes of failure, take off the sackcloth of mourning, self pity and complaints. Be the phoenix that rises out of the ashes- impossible situations! I speak to the champion in you! Win! 

Looking forward to reading your comments, which means a lot to me. Thanks again for your support and words of encouragement which has spurred me on to keep writing. Blessings!

Please don’t also forget to like, share and subscribe to this blog.

Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love

NB: send me an email at icharismaticchurch@gmail.com on questions about religion, faith, and any matter for that reason.

Today’s topic can be a nightmare for some people, because they are still reeling from the effects it has caused. Failure is the modern day “leprosy”. Nobody wants to be tagged with that word or hang around anything or anybody for that matter who has that aura.

One thing we can all relate to is we have all failed before. As far as you live in this world, failure is inevitable. Today’s post is not necessarily on how to avoid it- it is not really possible, but how to look at it in a different view.

I once heard, “your view point will determine your point of view”. Each one of us narrates things by how we look at it in our thoughts or perspective. If you have a healthy perspective, the matter will be a healthy one; a negative outlook will produce a negative point of view. My prayer before I wrote today is someone’s mind will be disabused from the fear of failure.

What is failure then? It is when you have come short of your goal. Your goal was to pass an exam, you failed. Your goal was to start a business, you failed. Your goal was to have a healthy marriage, you failed at that and divorce.

We can give many more of that. There are many reasons why we fail at some things, but don’t beat yourself over it and have a belly full of regret about it. What really can you do when an egg is smashed? You can either mope about it or get the bucket and mop to clear the accident. If you are reading and have failed, welcome to life 101. It’s normal and not that strange- we have all experienced it one way or another.

Facts on failure

It is an event, not your identity– don’t attach failure to your identity. The fact is you failed, but please listen to me because I came with the truth, “you are not a failure”. You need to repeat this to yourself. People have felt depressed and committed suicide because they see failure as part of their identity and make up, so they conclude, “I am dumb, useless, worthless, good for nothing”, “how can I make such a silly mistake?!”. It is nothing more than an event. It is just a page in your book, but it doesn’t tell the whole story, flip a new page and create something new until your story book is complete. Don’t determine your intelligence on some exam you failed, you are smart, dude! Don’t let the 48 interviews you have failed label you as a burden to the society and nothing to offer because you are unemployed. In life, people call the package what has been labeled. If you see yourself as a failure, people will start calling you that and it will affect your self confidence.

Successful people fail a lot- that is why they are successful. They have tried so many avenues, many methods, hit and miss a lot, done “trial and error” before hitting their break. Thomas Edison upon inventing the light bulb failed several times and this is what he said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work…”. Failure is at times an indicator you are very close to success, if you don’t give up. Failure should serve as motivation that you are at least trying. People who claim to have never failed before are lazy and complacent people. The folding of the hands is no adventure really! Keep pounding the pavement.

Failure can contain you- one of the many battles we fight is that of containment. To be contained means to be restricted to go beyond what you were wired. Say, if you were to go at 5,000 miles and you are doing 2,500, you are contained. Failure has such a devastating effect that if not checked, can paralyze you and cripple your hopes from ever trying again. Some never finished the course, because of one failed test- they couldn’t get over it. You have gone back to alcohol because you relapsed when you were sober. I understand the pain, disappointment and frustration, so don’t throw all the years of sobriety away because of a relapse. If you truly can’t be celibate and not called for that, why have you given up on marriage, because of a past divorce?

I pray all of us reading today will be set free from the sting of failure so that we can have the freedom to be.

I will like to read your comments on this one. Your feedback means a lot to me. Please don’t forget to like, share and subscribe to this post.

Let me thank you all for the reviews, feedback and the traffic I have had on this site in the past month because of your unwavering support. I am deeply appreciative.

Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…”– St. Paul the Apostle

Last weekend was a holiday here, hence not posting. I trust this weekend went well? In this part of our world, we are counting down to the end of summer, which I personally do not look forward to.

For sometime now, we have been looking at character. We looked at what it is and how it was formed in the first part. The second and third parts have dealt with the entire make up of character culled from Paul’s letter to the Galatian church which is the quote above.

There are nine virtues which make up character in a biblical context. The first three dealt with our attitude, the second trio focused on social relationships. Today’s triad focuses more on principles guiding a person’s conduct. Let us wrap up with the remaining three:

7. Faithfulness– the meaning of faithfulness is fidelity. Another word used is loyalty. Loyalty shows in three areas: how committed you are to your word, to your work and how you relate with authority figures. Most people who are insubordinate are unfaithful. Unfaithful people are very disloyal people. In my humble opinion, I value faithful people than skilled people if I am to choose between the two. Skill is scientific- it can be taught; faithfulness on the other hand, is a character trait- it is a matter of having it or not. Of course, people can be taught to be faithful with time, but it is an uphill task than teaching skill. It is difficult but not impossible.

8. Gentleness– sometimes our definition of being gentle is incomplete but not incorrect. Mostly, it has to do with appearances pertaining to the men: good grooming habits, a sense of fashion, and having good manners and etiquette. That is one half of the definition which is very laudable and needed in society to stand out sometimes. The other half of gentleness shows in how composed you are when you are faced with pressure or meted out with an unexpected circumstance. The person who can keep his or her cool in times of unpleasantness is considered gentle. So in relation to the men, have a high fashion sense, wear a nice cologne & dress the outward, but don’t forget the inward as well. Having a nasty attitude and temperament in a designer suit with expensive shoes is a misnomer.

9. Self control– let me use one word for this: restraint. It shows in our speech: how we talk, how we answer to questions and how graceful we are in our conversations. It also shows in how we relate with people of the opposite sex for that matter, or people in general. Can we relate in decorum and decency without the slightest smell of a scandal? Will we take the advantage or give them the advantage? With that quality, you don’t easily give in to a fight or quarrel. You don’t bite the bait! It takes a strong person to be self controlled. Honestly, I pray to God a lot for this quality, because I cannot think of any man made tactics and strategies that will enhance this attribute in my life better than prayer.

I will like to end on this note that none is perfect. We are all a “work-in-progress”. We will all get to our destination if we don’t quit and put in the work required. This should rather encourage you to be your best you. One of the ways to be that is to allow these fruits to show forth in your life.

Believe that you can do it! Will like to read your thoughts on this one. Your feedback means a lot to me. Please don’t forget to like, share and subscribe to this blog.

Till I come your way again…

Peace & Love

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